Friday, April 13, 2007

5 Things You Don't Know About Mystery Man


(The pic above may or may not be the exterior of Mystery Mansion.)

I have been tagged by our very good friend, the
Unknown Screenwriter. If I understand correctly, I’m expected to list 5 things people don’t know about me. Hey, no problem!

1) The most famous person I ever met was Princess Diana. It was after her separation from Charles. She totally wanted me, too. Hehehe... At least, I love to think she did.

2) The last time I participated in a No-Limit Texas Hold ‘Em Poker Tournament, I made it to the final table and placed 7th overall. Screenwriting’s like poker. You shouldn’t play a bad hand just because everyone else is winning. Stay calm, stay confident, and strike when the opportunity is right. You gotta know when to hold 'em, when to fold 'em, and when to go ALL-IN, BABY! Hehehe...

3) Never told anyone this - I used to work in a complaint department, which was THE BEST training for Hollywood. I highly recommend it. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, bitches like people in Hollywood. Or argue. It's insane. In any case, the complaint department gave me an eye for con artists, thick skin to deal with absurd criticism, the ability to resolve problems, and the discipline to stay cool when things get heated. It changed my life, actually. I refuse to be like those people who always complain everywhere they go (and try to get something for free). Life’s too short. You lose more than you gain living that way. I still love to get hate mail, though. Hehehe… By the way, my old co-workers still call me “the hotty.”

4) I rarely fall asleep afterwards. Sometimes, I’ll follow-up with a full body massage.

5) There’s a hip little downtown coffee shop I love to visit. I’ll bring my laptop and just write and write. Nobody bothers me. It’s great. A lot of other writers go there, too, with their laptops. In the last few months, I’ve noticed people looking at TriggerStreet, John August's website, Unk’s blog, and once (only once) - MY BLOG. After some time passed and it wouldn’t seem obvious, I said “hello” to the guy who had been reading my blog. He had no clue. Hehehe

(The pic below may or may not be the interior of Mystery Mansion.)

21 comments:

Ann Wesley Hardin said...

Re # 4. That's good MM, cuz I do have a tendency to fall asleep. Yes. I'm the perfect woman.

We need to know these things about each other if we're going to get creative...

Nice McMystery McMansion. Can I spend the night? *gg*

GimmeABreak said...

Ah, c'mon. We know all that stuff already. Why didn't you tell everyone about these?

1) He ran away from home and joined a traveling freak show when he was 16. His job was to change the juice in the jars of the pickled oddities. The cops hauled his ass back to his parents three months later.

2) His favorite movies are Gigli and Stop or My Mom Will Shoot.

3) He sleeps with a cabbage patch doll.

4) In high school, he played the tuba in the marching band.

5) He drives a Yugo!

bob said...

If the elephant is yours, can you tell me where I can get one? There's a HUGE empty spot in my rec room, next to the bowling alley.

ok in the matter of fairness, 5 things nobody knows about me.

1.The most famous person I rode in an elevator with is John Kerry. Incidentally I was also in the elevator with a woman named Kerry at the time. wierd huh?

2. I played trombone for two weeks in 4th grade, but quit because I was named first chair at the school concert. Hell, I was the only trombone player in the school district, and I sucked.

3. Dorothy Hamill taught me how to ice skate in the late 1960s.

4. I've never seen Caddyshack...

5. I have a top secret government clearance (crap I wasn't suppose to say that). Actually that's only partially true.

5a. I've been in a soccer riot in Italy, THAT was fun.

GimmeABreak said...

OK, my five -

1) I played violin in elementary school. When the teacher moved me to first chair and I got challenged, I quit the orchestra. I sucked, never should have been moved to first chair and I hated the violin. My mom let me switch to piano.

2) I have four grandchildren, the oldest of which is 16.

3) I rode in an elevator with Hulk Hogan (and his manager) when he was at the height of his popularity. The manager asked me if I wanted Hulk's autograph and seemed genuinely offended when I said "no." Hulk really isn't as big as he looks on TV.

4) When I was 5 or 6, my mom caught me and a friend shooting air up into each other's butts with a turkey baster (fart fodder). She beat the crap out of me later and told me I could never play with that friend again.

5) I can belch so loud the walls shake.

Mim said...

How freakin' weird. I did something very similar to Pat's #4 when I was 7 or 8, except we used flashlights. I'm not allowed to say who the other girl was and my mother never found out.

I sleep with dogs, so having an elephant in bed shouldn't pose a problem, especially if I get a full body massage to boot.

Guillermo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Guillermo said...

Well, I know that's not your mansion. I know this because I just bought in an E-bay auction for $129. 85 plus S & H. I'm expecting delivery by Thursday of next week...

Hmmmmmm.

My list will be posted.

MaryAn Batchellor said...

I'm taking my toys and going home. I suck at this game.

Unk said...

Hehehe...

Thanks for playin'!

Unk

Ann Wesley Hardin said...

MaryAn, I'd think with your uvulii, sucking would be a good thing...

~Ann, about to go to bed. With no speckled elephants.

wcdixon said...
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Laura Deerfield said...

I don't know that I can come up with 5 things no one knows... I talk about myself too much.

But I might as well throw a few things out here -

1) When I was a baby, a man approached my mother on the beach and composed a spontaneous poem in my honor. I feel like he indoctrinated me into the fellowship of poets.

2) I studied with a Lakota pipecarrier.

3) I spent 3 years as an illegal alien in Prague, one of them in a squat with no heat, electricity or running water. (And was in a riot there, after they lost the World Cup.)

4) At one time, I questioned my gender, and lived as a man for a few months.

5) I was voted "dirtiest kid" at girl scout camp in the summer between 6th and 7th grade. (I came in third in the belching contest, but the other two places went to teenagers.)

wcdixon said...

Don't these other people have blogs?

It's strange...I feel like I know too much about MM, and yet know nothing all at the same time.

Mystery Man said...

Ann - Oh, yes, and YES.

Pat - I loved both of your comments. I should've had you write my 5 things for me. The traveling freak show comment is actually true, as the interior of my mansion illustrates. If we ever meet, I'm going to hug you for #4 and then ask you to belch. Hehehe...

Bob - who doesn't have a top secret government clearance? I've been inside Area 51, ya know...

guillermo - I think I sold it to you...

maryan - Come on! It's fun!

unk - hehehe... you're welcome!

Laura - #1 reminds me of Before Sunrise. They had a lengthy discussion about those kinds of poets. They say it's probably a trick. I don't think so. Improv comics do it every night.

Dix - Actually, they don't have blogs. Of course, how much I should reveal was the big question, wasn't it? There are 4 or 5 close friends I hang out with who know who I am. They're the only ones who know, and this topic caused quite a debate. They were quite passionate about how much I should should say. I will reveal myself one of these days. I think I'd like to do it in person, though.

-MM

annabel said...

My curiosity grows...

Guillermo said...

"I will reveal myself one of these days. I think I'd like to do it in person, though."


Will the MPAA rate this "revelation" a tame PG, PG-17, an R or X rating?

The children need to know.

Mystery Man said...

Hey, Annabel! Welcome! Love the hat. Got one just like it.

Guillermo - Probably PG but capable of R given the right circumstances and the wrong number of drinks. I should elaborate. I don't have a problem revealing myself and Miriam Paschal can tell you that I've come very close to doing just that on a couple of occasions. But, I have learned that a lot of people prefer not knowing.

Besides, it's no fun to do it in email or on a blog or something. So I've decided that one day I'll just take a long vacation and fly around the country and meet everyone in person. How much fun would that be?

Hehehe...

-MM

Ann Wesley Hardin said...

I don't have a problem revealing myself either. Remind me to give you my phone number before you head out...

Mystery Man said...

Hehehe... Absolutely.

-MM

Guillermo said...

Cool. We're hit the local jazz clubs in town (maybe drop in at El Cid in Silverlake for their Jazz Brunch).

I'll cut down some more brush so you can land the plane.

Mystery Man said...

Ohhh, yeah... That sounds perfect.

-MM