Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Review – Diablo Cody's "Body"


“I have no idea what to think about this.”
-
Latino Review

Jennifer’s Body is a very different movie than Juno. For example, it is extremely gory. One passage from Cody’s script describes a scene where blood and viscera is scattered everywhere, with intestines strewn about ‘like party streamers.’ One victim is described as looking like ‘Lasagna with teeth.’ There are a couple scenes where a Jennifer graphically tears apart unknowing High School boys. Some of the descriptions gave me an uncomfortable feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. The gore described on these pages is Hard-R. However, I assume that the film will likely be cut down to a PG-13 to capture the teen audience. But I’m not really sure that is possible...”
-
Slash Film

[The quotes above represent the extent of the spoilers.]

Okay, I’m looking at a September 20, 2007, draft of
Jennifer’s Body. So far, we know that Jennifer will be played by Megan Fox (of Transformers). The protagonist, however, is a girl named Anita “Needy” Lesnicki who shall be played by Amanda Seyfried (of Mean Girls). The film will be directed by Karyn Kusama (of Girlfight).

To strip everything down to a simple sound-byte, I’d have to say that Jennifer’s Body goes overboard with the way it tries to sell itself. One of the sure signs of overselling in screenwriting is a flashback structure, which I talked about previously in the
Hitman review. A flashback structure is where we open with the ending, there’s a cliff-hanger, because something’s at stake, and then a character “tells his/her story” through voice overs. We go through the entire story (filled with voice overs, mind you) until we come full circle back to where we started at the ending. There’s usually a twist and then the story’s over. I really despise this structure with every fiber of my being. Although, a few scribes on TriggerStreet showed me how some films used this structure to a good, defensible purpose – Amadeus, Double Indemnity, and Titanic, to name a few. In the case of Amadeus and Double Indemnity, the audience gets emotionally prepared for a tragic ending. Okay, fine. In the case of Titanic (which Pat talked about in her third exposition article), we first see the ship after it sank, we learn how it sank, so that we’re not too distracted when it sinks.

But this script feels like a step backwards for Diablo, because flashback structures are so common in amateur screenplays it’s almost clichéd that new writers resort to this. It’s as if the writer hasn’t found his/her confidence yet and feels the need to overplay their hand and give a peak at the ending so you’ll read the script all the way through. A confident writer would never feel the need to do that and certainly wouldn’t resort to a cheap gimmick like that to get people to read the whole story. And I believe that, ultimately, this kind of structure does not satisfy audiences. It turns the story into an empty narrative puzzle where you ask yourself, “okay, so how do the characters get from point A to point B” as opposed to wondering and worrying throughout the movie HOW it will end for the characters that you really care about. Thus, the deteriorating relationship between the two leads came as no surprise, nor was it engaging, because we already saw the ending. The showdown in the pool was robbed of all its tension and fear because we already saw the ending. It’s as if Diablo has given us a safety-net in her story and cushioned the audience by showing how it will end when nobody really wants that in a movie. They’re happier not knowing and riding that wild roller coaster from beginning to end. There's something to be said about being too nice to your audience.

Diablo didn’t even really follow the usual traditions of flashback structures. Usually, an amateur would show us HALF of the third act climax in the opening scenes in order to hook us into reading to the end to see how that specific scene plays out and then there’s a twist. Here, though, Diablo shows us in the first few pages of the script the entire third act climax from beginning to end, and when we actually get to the end, there are no twists, which was also a bit of a letdown. The most important section in your screenplay is the ending, and her structure really pulled the rug out from underneath her own ending and you walk out of the theater feeling less than thrilled. Also, there were no questions hanging over our heads as we jump into the story as we would usually experience in this kind of structure, such as “does this person live or die?” Instead, because we see the whole scene and it had some surprising supernatural elements to it, the only thing we might ask ourselves is, “What the hell was that all about?” Other than that, there was nothing at stake, and to go through the entire story just to answer “What the hell was that all about?” isn’t worth it. It’s better to tell your story in chronological order, let the audience get into it, let the tensions naturally rise over the course of three acts, let the audience wonder and worry throughout, and let them be surprised and wowed by the ending.

Okay, let’s talk about the dialogue. Another way that, to me, she oversold her story is in its excessive dialogue. This had much more dialogue than Juno, which isn’t necessarily a good thing. She is, of course, known for her snappy lines, which I loved in Juno, and you look forward to reading more, but here, I felt like we were given too much of it because we not only have lots of dialogue in the regular scenes, but we also have lots of voice overs from Needy as she tells her story. It’s too much. Even the parents are rattling off Cody-speak. This is the perfect opportunity to show the world confidence and discipline from a matured Oscar-winning artist by toning down the dialogue. By the way, if you guys ever become famous for dialogue, the worst thing you can do is to give them MORE in your next script. You have to keep your fans hungry for your work by giving them less. Or something completely different. Because people WILL tire of this kind of talk and if this is all you’re good for, you may not have a very long career. Thus, I’d suggest an emphasis on other strengths in order to showcase a range of skills and sustain longevity in your career.

There are two areas I believe she can do this:

1) Master the Lost Art of Horror

So much of the script was filled with, not fear or dread or tension or anticipation, but SUDDEN EXTREME GORE, which pulls the script down a few notches to the category of cheap thrills. Just because you see gore does not necessarily qualify your script as good horror, because that isn’t fear. Most definitions of “horror” include both repugnance and fear. Here, it’s just repugnance. Ya know, I recall Justin Clark saying in his
review of Feast: “James Cameron once said, in reference to his work on Aliens, that gore isn't fear. It's disgust, a totally different emotion. No matter how gory your film is if there isn't anything more to it than that, it's no different than watching people drink sperm-tainted beer in American Pie. It's getting to the point now where the true art of dread, of terror, of watching people, characters and things be threatened by a truly frightening menace has taken a back seat to ‘safe’ thrills.” That’s exactly how I feel about this spec.

2) Master the Art of
Visual Storytelling.

I know my more devoted readers are sick of hearing about this, but it’s important, and I’m not sure she’s even aware of this principle. If you were to tone down the dialogue and emphasize the visuals, you will inevitably write scenes filled with better tension, such as the Tarantino example we studied in the
Write the Shots article. I also had two examples here and here that would serve her well.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

- In terms of formatting, it was a bit sloppy. Hey, if you’re going to be a pro screenwriter, know the format. The “smash cut” on page 19 wasn’t the right technique for that transition nor was it necessary to call out any transitions at all. Write a proper MONTAGE or a SERIES OF SHOTS by actually listing the shots, which is what we’re supposed to do. And quit writing “we see.” Obviously, “we see.” It’s a movie. That’s the point, isn’t it, to “see?” On pg 88, we had, “We hear the voice of Chip’s Mom through the door.” That’s called “(O.S.)”.

- Pg 85 – How does Needy figure out that Jennifer possibly killed Ahmet?

- I can't share anymore thoughts without revealing the plot, but for me, the pacing was off at times, particularly in the 80-page range with that passing of time, which I thought really undercut the tension. I also had questions about the arcs of the characters.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Don’t let this review and current Juno backlash fool you. Diablo is an immense talent that I believe still needs to be nurtured because she has a lot to learn. What we’re seeing in Jennifer’s Body is a case of nerves more than anything else, an anxious artist that’s eager to “kick ass” without having the experience and necessary study of the craft under her belt to really do that.

Yet.

47 comments:

Matt said...

You mean to tell me that there's a script out there that has MORE dialogue in it than JUNO?

I don't dislike Diablo, but I think her and her script are overhyped. I saw JUNO, and while I didn't mind it while I was watching, but to analyze, I don't think that there's any dialogue or long-lasting conflict to speak of.

That said, this can't be the best career move for her following an Oscar win.

Anonymous said...

We'll see how it pans out. These kinds of career stories are frequent, and predictable.
I wish her the best, but I'm not going to hold my breath for her if she shows us that she doesn't have what it takes.

Christina said...

Wow. I feel totally lectured. Ha Ha. And sort of nervous...

Anonymous said...

You wouldn't happen to know where I can get my filthy hands on this script Mystery Man...

My email is methodman161@juno.com

Not that I think you will send it or not, but it's worth a shot...but if not, I will be shamed face.

Mike J.

Zane said...

Juno's strength is pure emotion. Witty dialogue and teen pregnancies don't win the Academy's vote. But sometimes bleeding hearts do.

When Cody stops masturbating with words, I see her doing beautiful things.

Unknown said...

First off, I will never tire of your virtual storytelling reminders!

I think the thing that struck me most about your article was that she's talented, but she's still fairly new to screenwriting. She hasn't gone through the grist mill most of us have to reach that point where we've learned this craft (it's not easy to do it well). Too bad for her she has to go through that grinder in the public spotlight, whereas we get to do it in anonymity. Although she's got an oscar and a fat bank account to compensate for the pain she may have to go through.

Laura Deerfield said...

I think part of what may be going on with this script is a female screenwriter trying to prove she can write something that would be thought of as more of a guy's script: Splatterpunk.

Though, honestly, I see more women in horror (at least at the lower budgets) than I do in the real hard-core moneymaker genre: action-thrillers.

She wants to remain a cool chick (thus all the clever dialogue) but prove she can hang with the boys.

Seriously, though, I think it's a shame that splatter movies are even thought of as part of the same genre as real horror. It's gotten to the point that people dismiss horror as a genre without realizing that some very sophisticated stories can be told within it.

Anonymous said...

To be fair she wasn't an Oscar winner when this script was making the rounds. Simply a new screenwriter trying to take advantage of her big break. Now that she has the luxuries and pressures of her newfound fame the real test will be her next script, IMO.

Emily Blake said...

I was going to read that script, but now I won't waste my time. I hate gore.

Christian H. said...

I was surprised hat she went from straight comedy to straight horror. There couldn't be two more juxtaposed genres (techniques).

I would have stuck with what worked. Once I knew Juno was coming out I would have gone back to the "angst-ridden teen" well one more time.

There are a million stories in the naked city. And most of them are funny.

David Alan said...

A newly possessed cheerleader turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates. Can her best friend put an end to the horror?

Meh. I think I’ll wait for it to come out on DVD. Stuff like that really doesn’t interest me. But I do think this is a good move for her. Keep it low budget. Don’t bite off more than you can chew.

And can somebody tell her to dress herself in a presentable manner? I mean, the best part of being a screenwriter now is...you don’t have to dress like a stripper anymore! Show some professionalism! Is that too much to ask for?

Oh well, I'm off to see Semi-Pro.

Mystery Man said...

Thanks, guys. That is what a script review looks like when MM has 103 degree temperature. I'm feeling SO much better today...


Matt - I think a move into horror is actually great, but she has to study the genre and write GREAT horror.

Carlo - I'll definitely see it.

Christina - NO-NO-NO! See e-mail.

Mike - No, I wouldn't.

Zane - I agree.

Bob - She's exceptionally talented, and eventually she will do great thing. I believe she got a two-script deal for mid-six. That's not bad.

Laura - We've reached a point in cinema history where almost every genre has produced 4-star Oscar films. And horror is no exception. I just don't believe in throw-away stories. Aim for the stars. But this really feels to me like a simple case of nerves and someone anxious to prove oneself and going a little overboard doing it. That's a natural part of growth. And even pros struggle with nerves and overselling the stories when they're writing for big-name directors they've always dreamed of working with, like a Spielberg. All that study comes into play and you apply everything you know when you're really put under pressure.

Anon - I didn't think it was Oscar worthy either, but I didn't think "No Country" was either. Last year, I didn't think "Departed" deserved it either. I thought "Letters of Iwo Jima" was clearly the most outstanding film that year. But I do believe that over time, she will do great things.

Emily - Yeah, there was plenty of that. You should send me one of your scripts sometime. I still haven't read one of yours yet.

Christian - She actually wrote a comedy/horror, which I'm still not convinced is the best mixture of genres. The comedy undermines the fear and anxiety, which is essential for good horror.

David - You should wait until Semi-Pro comes out on DVD and go see "Jennifer's Body." Hehehe...

-MM

Joshua James said...

I ain't into gore stuff, it's not really my bag.

However, I like films structured as you mentioned (start with a flash-forward, etc) I've always enjoyed films like that, which play with time . . . I can't answer for the amateurs fucking up scripts with that structure, but they'd probably fuck up other types of scripts as well.

Me, I like it and use it when it's appropriate. I couldn't say if it is for Jennifer's Body or not, but I like it.

I just watched MICHAEL CLAYTON which does exactly that, starts near the end and uses the movie to bring it home . . . worked pretty well . . . I enjoyed the movie very much.

My favorite film of last year was ONCE. I liked NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN quite a bit, too, and wasn't sorry to see it win.

Funny thing about THE DEPARTED, I thought that was a total ripoff when it won (CHILDREN OF MEN was my fave that year) but lately it's on cable all the time and I've watched it over and over and it seems to just get better, every time I see it.

Or maybe it's just me, I dunno, but I like it more now than I did the first time.

It's late, I'm babbling, sorry man. Heh-heh.

Anonymous said...

Showing the end of the movie in the beginning needs to have a purpose. It needs to be a tool in setting up the audience's perception of what's going on (and a whole bunch of other stuff).
However, as MM described it, Diablo didn't use the flashforward correctly.

I won't go into detail because I feel MM knows what I'm talking about.

Mystery Man said...

Quite a few folks have mentioned Michael Clayton, and I know I'm in the minority here, but MC didn't work for me on just about any level, especially it's structure. The structure completely undermined the tension we SHOULD have been feeling when we watched MC walking to his car! We didn't feel any, because we already knew what the outcome was going to be. It was pointless, I tell you!

Hehehe...

I really hate this structure.

-MM

Anonymous said...

It's good if it leaves some anonymosity and provides the audience with questions that they'll be trying to answer as clues are given throughout the movie/show.

Otherwise, it's just a stupid spoiler.

Anonymous said...

This is actually a very interesting blog.

Anonymous said...

This advice is sophomoric at best and obviously the work of a frustrated screenwriter mimicking some hack teacher they heard speak at Screenwriting Mag expo. Wouldn't even make half-ass coverage. Sorry. True. Keep writing, maybe try to master the art of your own voice and not recite cliched one liners you read on the toilet.

Anonymous said...

I auditioned for this film, and I thought the dialogue was almost unspeakable. As an actor, you can tell when the writing is great in a different way than as a reader, and this wasn't great, or good. It was self-consciously overwritten. The lines were really clever and stylish, and absolutely didn't fit in the character's mouth, nor in the context of her mood. They were cut and pasted from a notebook of "phrases I want to put in a movie someday." That said, I did love one of her inventions, it was very hip. I've started using it with people, and they all smile. I guess I won't give it up now, cause it really belongs to Cody. But I do wish she had an editor.

Matt said...

At first I thought the Anonymous poster above me was Diablo, but there are no references to Goldie Hawn on the Gong show or Fulci, so it's probably just a fan.

I actually think MICHAEL CLAYTON is more of less the best use of the "end at the beginning" since it became in vogue last decade. Only because it's clearly not showing you the actual ending of the film, but where this all ends and what's at stake. It's up to the audience to figure out how the Clooney goes from bailing Tom Wilkinson out of jail to almost getting blown up without getting obvious about it's clues or tipping its hand (shameful admission: I had to have it explained to me why the Clooney goes to look at the horses in the first place.)

Anonymous said...

I can say that Diablo knows horror films and their rabid (pardon the lame-o pun) fandom...after all, wasn't it the shared fan-affection for Dario Argento which drew together Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page) and Mike Loring (Jason Bateman)

But then again...holy Jackie Brown, Batman!!!

Anonymous said...

We all knew this lady's next movie is gonna get the "shakedown", examined with a fine tooth comb.

We'll see.... but these "Vonder Von Burenstein" pretentious blogger-types. With there inflated egos, purple glasses and berets should "suck it" IMO.

Your blog is trite. Her next 4 movies could be flops and she will still have done more then you ever will.

Joshua James said...

I love that flashforward structure . . . the nice thing is it's also now being used in TeeVee - my first experience with it was SUNSET BOULEVARD . . . there's nothing wrong with the structure, only what's done with it, wouldn't you agree?

And I liked Micheal Clayton A LOT more than I thought I would . . . I was sure I'd hate it . . . the only surprise was that Tilda is barely in the film, how'd she get an Oscar - LOL!

Anonymous said...

Some of you fellas need to calm down, like one Anaonymous poster and CONCERNED CITEZIN. No need for that here.

Anonymous said...

For all the various writers or wannabe writers reading this board, I really wish most of you would spend time actually reading VIEWERS responses to your movies. Not face-to-face test screening type opinions (because most people don't like to criticize people to their face).

Don't you all get it? Hollywood is totally OVERSTYLIZED and yes, we realize that production studios do this on purpose these days but YOU as writers have compromised your ideals by doing it FOR THEM now. In case you hadn't been paying attention, very very very few movies are ever rated above a B-. The overwhelming feeling by us moviegoers is that movies in general are all about average these days and most aren't worth the price of admission. Pay attention to US and not just the damn studios!

Don't believe me? Check out Yahoo movies, AOL, or any other site and challenge yourself to find ANY movie that's EVER rated above a B+.

Anonymous said...

Loving the anonmyous posters who insult people without knowign anything about them. These anonymous posters likely know their arguments or insults are ill-founded, but just want to release steam.

We can see right through you as well.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with what you said about her dialog. I work in development and was one of the very first to read Juno, and up until about page 30 it was a "pass" mostly because of the annoying dialog. The reason you end up liking the dialog was because the character showed she was as insecure of herself and her "hip speak" was just another way of boosting herself up. But, the quipy dialog without that counterbalance is just plain annoying and reeks of writer trying way to hard. I also found that the executives who fawn over her were the same ones who are easily lead by hype, buzz and the story of the artist more then the work they produce (think Amy Winehouse). It will be interesting to see how they feel about her when the new "best thing" comes around.

On another note, you can't discount a script just because it uses the start with the ending format, it can work and it can work very well. (Usual Suspects, Citizen Kane)

Unknown said...

I'm not in the habit of calling out posters, but concerned citizen, this is smartest most informative blog i've seen on screenwriting. Our Mr. Brightsides is maybe the least trite human on this planet. This isn't a flaming kind of blog, but one where we are all trying to master this craft. Please leave the insults and personal challenges out of the mix.

thanks

Anonymous said...

Goodfellas. Goodfellas opens with a flashback and I can't imagine that film without that opening.

Mike Ayoob said...

Fight Club used the flash-forward structure, and it is one of my favorite movies of all time. I thought it worked really well in that movie.

I tend to hate movies that use gore to the extent that it's almost a parody. Example: Planet Terror. It's supposed to pay homage to splatter movies, but what merits do splatter movies actually have? It seems like they intentionally have an idiotic and gratuitous plot because splatter movies always have. It just doesn't work for me.

Blake said...

The thing I liked about Michael Clayton was that the flashforward was NOT the end, but actually the second act climax.

Anonymous said...

I agree 100%

Dave Ale said...

I think it'll be interesting to see if she succumbs to the M. Night Shylaman effect... first movie is a hit... but then you get progressively worse.

Sometimes having gigantic success right out of the gate can hurt you. Success like that tends to polarize people -- half the people think you're a God, the other half think you're a fluke.

Robert Rodriguez had this one right -- often times, your second movie is more important than your first, because people won't pass two good movies off as a fluke.

Mystery Man said...

Shep - That's a great comment. I completely agree. Thank you for that.

-MM

Christina said...

Shep and MM - I agree too that that's a great comment and yes, what Ms. Cody is up against. I personally would rather write 5 produced movies that increase in quality and then win an Oscar than win an Oscar the first time out.

For example, Sofia Coppola had two produced movies before Lost in Translation and Virgin Suicides, the 2nd one, had enough substance to it where people predicted she'd do something great. There was a small (normal) backlash when she won but mostly she got to enjoy it. That is, until she made that weird Marie Antoinette movie.

Dave Ale said...

Finally got my paws on the script.

And honestly, I have to agree with most of what you said.

It seems like she's struggling to prove herself, to prove that she can hang with the big boys.

I think she's talented, but she just pushed it to far in my opinion.

She's not far off though... just cut back on some of the stylized dialogue and rework the structure and I think this would be a good script. And get rid of the voice overs. More visuals.

I didn't find any reason for her to use the flashback structure, I think she could've gone straight through and it would've been fine -- better, in all honesty.

She has loads of potential, hopefully she can reach it.

Mystery Man said...

Thanks for that, Shep. I really appreciate it. Great to meet you.

-MM

Anonymous said...

hello, there MM! i stumbled through your blog as i was doing what i usually do in front of a computer(read movie reviews, of course!)
i somehow find this past-time of mine a bit strange for a guy like me. im an 18 year-old nursing student from the philippines and my cousins joke about me being a film geek and all. idk why but i do enjoy reading film reviews(im a regular visitor of the rottentomatoes.com)

On to your article, I havent read the script to diablo's upcoming flick yet but im starting to think you're right about everything you said about it. im not really a fan of the flashback structure but i DID, however, LOVE michael clayton. i believe tony gilroy staged the story brilliantly(with an amazing cast: esp swinton & wilkinson) that i can just forgive the structure.

i also liked juno but not as much as ebert. lol. i praise diablo though for coming up with an amazingly fresh script. i'd like to see her succeed so i hope "jen's body" wont suck(lol. pardon my writing. im not really good at english)

Anonymous said...

hello, there MM! i stumbled through your blog as i was doing what i usually do in front of a computer(read movie reviews, of course!)
i somehow find this past-time of mine a bit strange for a guy like me. im an 18 year-old nursing student from the philippines and my cousins joke about me being a film geek and all. idk why but i do enjoy reading film reviews(im a regular visitor of the rottentomatoes.com)

On to your article, I havent read the script to diablo's upcoming flick yet but im starting to think you're right about everything you said about it. im not really a fan of the flashback structure but i DID, however, LOVE michael clayton. i believe tony gilroy staged the story brilliantly(with an amazing cast: esp swinton & wilkinson) that i can just forgive the structure.

i also liked juno but not as much as ebert. lol. i praise diablo though for coming up with an amazingly fresh script. i'd like to see her succeed so i hope "jen's body" wont suck(lol. pardon my writing. im not really good at english)

Anonymous said...

You're better than most. haha

Anonymous said...

hi there, carlo. im the anonymous poster above your latest comment. was it me you were talking to? :)

Anonymous said...

yessir, your english is fine.

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Anonymous said...

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