Friday, July 14, 2006

Early review of "Lady in the Water"

"Sir Lancelot" at Ain't It Cool News posted an early review of M. Night Shyamalan's upcoming Lady In the Water.

Hee hee hee...

"Lady In The Water is a diarrhea splat of storytelling so haphazard, ideas so undernourished, dialogue so banal, and characterization so criminally lifeless that if you'll be able to lift yourself out of your torpor you will be truly amazed.

You will be truly amazed because here is a young filmmaker who has, in one fell swoop, transformed himself from a flawed and fortuitous studio darling into an irritating film school geek with no right to advancement. I can only assume the Warner Bros suits were so stunned by the celluloid catastrophe that developed in front of their eyes day by day that they forgot that it was their job to rein in this monstrous piece of self-indulgent crap.

Howard's character has a duty to contact a human and pass along a Highly Significant Message, and in one of the most nauseating passages in this sea of puerile puke, she tells a writer that his unpublished book will influence the future President of America and shape a New World Order.

Guess who plays the writer? Night?!! It's by far the biggest role he's given himself, virtually the second male lead, and a clear indication of the delusions of grandeur that fester inside his creatively barren desert of a brain. I think I actually heard someone retch during one of his scenes. He tries to direct several comedy scenes too, and the results are indeed hilarious.

1 comment:

wcdixon said...

ouch...but had a sinking gut feeling about this one when the trailers suddenly switched from selling a romantic fairy tale to selling a horror movie...