Create A Character Weekend!
This gem of a photo comes to us from the photographer, Killbunnie23, who just might kill me if she knew what I was doing. But hey, we’re artists creating characters and it is to her credit as a brilliant photographer that I am using her photo for our own personal gain.
Hehehe… I love ya, honey, whoever you are.
Okay, guys, 3 things, and I can’t WAIT to hear them:
- What's her name?
- Why on earth is she dressed like that?
- What are her character contradictions?
15 comments:
Yeah, so like my Daaaaad came home and caught me in the hall on my way to take a piss after me and Mongo (my boyfriend) had been playing around in my room all day.
"Kristy, baby," he said, "how could you do this?"
Okay, so maybe we did get a little carried away with the costumes and the peanut butter. Mongo likes peanut butter.
Anyway, POPS told me not to smoke in the house, but, like, how the fuck was I to know he'd come home early and go all apeshit on me?
It's not like I DON'T go to college or volunteer at the soup kitchen.
Can't a girl have any fun in her free time?
Bunny Pendergras knew that rushing a sorority was going to be tough, but who knew Tri-Delts were this damn kinky... Mummsy certainly didn't tell her about this happening during HER rush season! So much for being a legacy!
My real name is Sarah Dingwalter but I want my stage name to be Lotta Kinck. This audition for American Idol is just the first step on the way to mega stardom. Randy'll like the tat (I hope it doesn't rain), Simon's a smoker, too (maybe we can hang out in the alley for a drag or two), and Paula will absolutely love my voice. I aim to be the next William Hung (who really IS, BTW) except that I can sing. Well, maybe not as good as Carrie Underwood or Kelly Clarkson but certainly better than that fat girl who got fired for wearing her skivvies on a porn site. She didn't look half as good as I do. Like I learned in psychology and media, the only bad attention is NO ATTENTION. My 15 minutes is gonna last a long time, believe you me. Mom, sorry about raiding your delicates drawer but my Monday panties were in the laundry and I can't wear Tuesday's on a Monday. It just wouldn't feel right. Dad, I promise to put the bunny ears back in the closet next to Mom's pig mask just as soon as the audition is finished, OK?
Casual Friday was never the same.
Miss Van der Mier, our CEO, really socked us that day when she insisted that everyone in the mailroom join her in that game of "pin the tail on the bunny". Or, as she put it, "pin the bunny on the tail" but she'd had a few Sea Breezes by that time.
I mean, the woman drives a Volvo, shmoozes with the power elite, ran for congress and collects stamps. Who would have guessed that someone with such numismatic passion smoked? We were appalled. I filed a form 123-45.
Yeah, casual Friday was never the same.
We don't know her name yet but we'll learn it when bailiff swears her in.
Shonda waited, cigarette hanging loosely from her lips. She'd been waiting all day. Hell, she'd been waiting since last week when Lemar first told her they were coming here.
She figured this was about her sister. She already knew her kid was Lemar's but she didn't care. She was just waiting for the right opportunity to show the world how she don't need no man 'cuz she's so hot everybody wants her.
Shonda heard her name and flipped the cigarette on the floor. Finally, time to go meet Jerry Springer.
Geez MM, how do you keep finding these pictures of me?
..lol
I can't even complete with some of these writeups...good funny stuff
I waiting to see how Unk ties her in with the last two characters.
The saga continues...
The Beez keeps a nice and steady sixty-five miles per hour on highway 15 while Paco nurses a luke warm Zima.
PACO
We should be there already.
I'm losing money.
THE BEEZ
There is a very easy way to
return from a casino with a
small fortune: go there with
a large one. Jack Yelton.
PACO
Jack don't know jack. What the fuck is that?
Paco points down the horizon of the interstate – The Beez drops his jaw.
She slowly tweaks into focus standing there on the shoulder of the highway with her thumb out trying to hitch a ride.
PACO
What the fuck is that on
her head?
THE BEEZ
Bunny ears!
The Beez shifts down a gear.
PACO
We're not stoppin' for some
crazy bitch dressed in bunny
ears and her underwear... Keep drivin'.
She jams her thumb in the air even higher – flashes a big smile.
THE BEEZ
Look at all those teeth!
The Beez passes the girl in bunny ears -- pulls over to the shoulder.
She flails after them.
PACO
There's no room!
She reaches Paco's window – thrusts her head inside:
BUNNY EAR GIRL
Goin' to Vegas?
THE BEEZ
All the way.
(to Paco)
Let her in.
Pissed, Paco exits the Gremlin, pushes the back of the seat forward.
Bunny Ear Girl jumps in – Paco slams the seat back in place, enters – SLAMS the door.
The Beez shifts into gear, eases out the clutch – heads back on the freeway toward Vegas.
THE BEEZ
I really like your ears.
BUNNY EAR GIRL
I really like your car.
PACO
I really like your underwear.
Gotta name?
BUNNY EAR GIRL
Facetia. Facetia Molar.
THE BEEZ
What did you say?
FACETIA
Molar. You know, like the
tooth?
THE BEEZ
Some tortures are physical and
some are mental but the one that
is both is dental.
FACETIA
Ogden Nash, right?
THE BEEZ
Right.
PACO
You're both givin' me a
toothache.
(to Facetia)
You like to gamble?
FACETIA
I'm here aren't I?
Facetia Molar just left the prison in Jean, Nevada after visiting her boyfriend. Unfortunately, the guards like to party with Facetia just a little too much hence, the bunny ears and underwear but Facetia does what she has to do after all... Her boyfriend is her life.
Unk
Yaaaayyy!!!! I'm so glad I made popcorn before I read that.
Just for you, mim. LOL.
Unk
Guys, I was ROLLING...
Oh my God...
By day Sister Amy Goodjob is a model nun, with a concscience as white as her whimple...by night, however, she is...The Love Bunny! A cracked-up, pimp-killing superheroine! With nothing more than a genital garotte and a dream she cuts a swathe through the scum filled streets of Lower Pittsburg.
Evildoers...say your prayers!
Hehehe...
Friends, this anonymous post actually comes to us from the great comedy writer, Ger. (If you're not familiar with him, see my "Comedy Writing Secrets" post.)
This is a rare treat, indeed!
I love it!
I love the image of the genital garotte.
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