Friday, February 23, 2007

It's Create a Character Weekend! Yeah!

This one comes to us from the great Michael Lewis article in Slate Magazine called Monster: Have I Screwed Up My Daughters Forever?


Mim said...

Creature with a need
Plucking precious pearls nightly
Tooth Fairy victim

GameArs said...

In her attempt to stop the asteroid from striking the earth, CandyApple Candice created a one-mile thick layer of hardened corn syrup, red dye #pi and sugar around the entire planet.

The asteroid was deflected (only to strike Centauri Four, eight thousand years later, but that's another sordid tale all in its own cozy rubber blanket) and the Earth was saved.

But during the planetary "extraction" phase, when the planet's population was forced to, and I quote General Cancantcan of the United States Army's 7.637th Umbrella Sausage Honey Mustard Brigade, "Jaw bone it's way outta this sugar-sweetened sh*t storm." poor Candice was attacked by space vampires hidden in the less-know atmospheric layer known as the Undeadosphere-o-matic.

She never ate a candy apple again. Unless you count the one she found on her Caramel Cluster Big Bangin' Gangsta Expedition to Seti Seven when the Intergalactic Volunteer Comitee on Mushroom Cultivation and Burning Ember Cooling Process Evaluation and Miscellany Measurement (or, the IVCOMCABECPEM) honored her with a Bodacious Booty award. She was never happier.

MaryAn Batchellor said...

Who cares? Read the article!

Patrick J. Rodio said...


Mystery Man said...

Mim - Hehehe...

Carl, that was bloody hilarious.

MaryAn - I agree. It was great, wasn't it? Wonderfully written.

Patrick - Yikes, indeed.